I’ve got an axe to grind. It drives me absolutely crazy when I hear people bad mouth their spouse. I just don’t understand it. Whether it’s done in private or in public; using your words to tear down the person your married to isn’t just dishonoring, the Bible teaches us that it’s actually pretty dangerous.
In this post I’d like to offer you 4 reasons why it’s so important to speak life over your spouse.
1. Words have the power to release a spirit of life or a spirit of death.
“Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.” (Proverbs 18:21)
We often don’t realize it, but just like God used His Word to shape the earth, every time we speak to or about our spouse, our words are shaping our marriage. So, what kind of spirit are you releasing with your words; a spirit of life or death? Are you speaking to their God given potential or are you injecting poisonous thoughts of self doubt and insecurity? The health of your marriage is directly connected to the words you’re choosing to use towards the one you’re married to. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says that we’re supposed to “…encourage each other and build each other up…” This should always start at home – with our spouse.
2. Whatever you magnify you’ll multiply.
Proverbs 21:19 says, “It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.”
Ladies, nagging (aka verbally manipulating) your husband isn’t going make him the man you think he should be. In fact, if anything you’ll push him away and make him feel like he can never measure up or even worse, he’ll feel like he doesn’t have anyone in his corner that believes in him. Whatever you magnify with your words you’ll multiply in your marriage. Whatever you spend your time thinking about is inevitably what you’ll spend your time talking about. So if all you think about is your spouses weaknesses and short comings, that’s what you’ll speak to and that’s all you’ll see more of. You can’t help somebody become their best by focusing on their worst.
[shareable cite=”@PastorTHall”]You’ll never call out your spouses greatness by always speaking to their weakness.[/shareable]
3. Speaking life over your wife is speaking life over yourself.
Guys, you can’t tear down your wife with your words without tearing down yourself at the same time.
The Apostle Paul said, “…for a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself” (Ephesians 5:28). Often times the hurtful words you use against your wife is nothing more than you projecting your own low self-image and insecurity on her. Part of learning how to love yourself is learning how to love your wife with your words. When you curse your wife you curse yourself. When you bless your wife you bless yourself. Speak life!
4. Intentionally hurting your spouse will hinder your relationship with God.
You can’t speak like “hell” to your spouse and expect heaven in your house.
1 Peter 3:7 says it like this, “In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives…Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.” Too many married people are having World War III in the car on their way to church and then asking heaven to touch earth once they slip into the pew. 1 Peter 3:7 makes it clear that if our communication with our spouse isn’t right, then our communication with God won’t be right either. We can’t come to Him right, until we learn how to go to our spouse right.
[shareable cite=”@PastorTHall”]You can’t speak like hell to your spouse and expect heaven in your house.[/shareable]
You may need to humble yourself, go to them, and ask them for forgiveness for any hurtful words you’ve used against them in the past, but you can make the choice today to breathe life back into your marriage relationship by choosing to:
- Bless and not curse.
- Speak from a place of faith rather than frustration.
- Call out their greatness rather than highlight their weakness.
Keep cultivating your marriage! After all, you and your spouse share a common purpose and God want’s to work through your lives (together) to accomplish great things on earth.