I’ve always placed a high value on loyalty. I don’t believe you can sustain healthy relationships, lead a healthy team, or make a lasting impact on the lives of others without it.
While most people would probably say they think loyalty is important, the unspoken definitions of loyalty that I see implied today are not only disturbing; they’re dangerous.
Today, I’m going to start a 3 part series on loyalty entitled: The 3 Dangerous Definitions of Loyalty. It’s my prayer, that together, we can dispel some of the dysfunctional perceptions of loyalty that seem so prevalent in our culture.
Dangerous Definition #1: Loyalty = Unconditional Agreement.
This couldn’t be further from the truth. Listen to me very closely…
Disagreement DOES NOT equal disloyalty.
God sends people into our lives to help us become everything that we were created to be. That includes people who have a different perspective than we do. They help us to “think” differently, and anybody that helps us think differently can help us live and lead differently also.
As a leader I’ve discovered that it’s often times the people who frustrate me the most, that actually serve to bring out my best.
[shareable cite=”@PastorTHall”]If you get angry every time someone disagrees with you, there’s a good chance you have a dangerous definition of loyalty.[/shareable]
Far too often I’ve watched leaders reject relationships with people who are willing to disagree with them for fear of being perceived as wrong about something. This kind of thinking is rooted in our own pride and insecurity which ultimately robs us of the opportunity “grow wise.” Proverbs 11:2 says it this way “Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”
People who surround themselves with those who “unconditionally agree” are usually trying to incubate their insecurity. This is dangerous because if we surround ourselves with people who are just as dysfunctional as we are in one or more areas of life, we will deceive ourselves into thinking that it’s healthy to be unhealthy because everyone around us is – unhealthy too.
Maybe that’s what King Solomon meant when he wrote “Do you see a man wise in his own eyes?
There is more hope for a fool than for him” (Proverbs 26:12).
Admitting that we’re wrong is admitting that we’re human and we all have blind spots in our own leadership. To create an atmosphere where the people around you are afraid to disagree with you is to ensure that you not only stunt your own growth as a leader, but you’ll push highly productive people away from you, stunting the growth of your church, family, or organization.
Build relationships with those who are authentic enough to disagree in a way that helps you become everything that you were created to be. And remember, if you humble yourself now, God will exalt you later.