Last week we started a new series of posts on one of the most important issues in leadership: loyalty.

The purpose of this series is to shine a light on the dysfunctional perceptions of loyalty that appear to be so prevalent in our culture. The first Dangerous Definition we uncovered was the false belief that: Loyalty = Unconditional Agreement.

This couldn’t be further from the truth. Disagreement does not equal disloyalty.

In part 2 we’re going to take a look at the second most dangerous definition of loyalty, so let’s get started.

Dangerous Definition of Loyalty #2:

Loyalty = Telling me what I want to hear, rather than what I need to hear.

Arguing CoupleFar too often I’m watching a twisted misconception of loyalty unfolding among friends and family that basically says, “If you care about me, you’ll tell me what I want to hear, even if it’s not what I need to hear.” It seems that sometimes we’re more concerned with feeling good than we are about “becoming good.”

[shareable cite=”Pastor Travis”]Nothing will put a lid on your life like surrounding yourself with people who only tell you what you want to hear, rather than what you need to hear.[/shareable]

This kind of thinking will not only postpone the development of your purpose, but it will stunt the growth of your career, ministry and relationships.

Proverbs 27:6 offers us a much different definition of loyalty. It says, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”

According to this verse, one of the attributes of an enemy is that an enemy will always tell you what you want to hear. A friend, however, loves you enough to tell you what you need to hear – even if it hurts. To take it one step further, this verse reveals that this friend, the one who cares enough to share an inconvenient truth, is the friend that “…can be trusted…”

Conversely, you should never trust somebody who only ever tells you what you want to hear.

I always teach upcoming leaders: You need somebody in your life that loves you enough to tell you that your breath stinks!

But, if your definition of loyalty requires those closest to you to turn their backs to the blind spots in your life; than your dysfunction will quickly become a disability that prevents you from achieving your destiny.

Perhaps the most dangerous consequence is that you’ll start to view your friend as your enemy, and your enemy as your friend.

Proverbs 12:15 says, ” The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.”

If you want to be wise, listen to the advice of others – even when it hurts.

I’m not suggesting that all advice is created equal, because it’s not, but we all have blind spots in our lives and leadership and just because something “seems right” to us, doesn’t mean that it is right. That’s why we need someone that we can trust to help us see what we can’t so that we can become who we’ve been created to become.

If this blog added value to your life or leadership, I’d be honored if you shared it with others on Facebook and Twitter. 

Thanks for reading,

Pastor Travis

[shareable]I just read a great blog about Loyalty on Check it out![/shareable]